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ANTiFanfix Quarterly July 2014: Ketchup and Musturd

It’s July and you know what that means? It’s the ANTiFanfix Quarterly!  Have you not been up to date on comics?  Do you wish there was an easier way than Wikipedia’s occasionally super-dense plot “summaries”?  “Ketchup and Musturd” is the feature where you can catch up (get it? :O) to what’s been going on lately. Is it good or bad? There’s no ratings, just readings!  Get to it.

Today’s lineup is:

All New X-Men
Avengers
Batman
Batman Eternal
Cyclops
Future’s End (DC)
Guardians of the Galaxy
Hawkeye
Hulk
Iron Man
Justice League United
Original Sin
Magneto
Thunderbolts
Wolverine and The X-Men

Spoilers can occur, but the reason you’re here is because you want to know what’s happening. Highlight the area you want to read to bypass the spoiler field.


 All New X-Men

After having a fun trial for Jean Grey by the Shi’ar for crimes she hadn’t committed yet, the All New X-Men have already gone back to fighting against the Future Brotherhood (goodie!). Their origins have been fleshed out a little more, so now we have a pretty lame reason for why Beast and others have joined Raze and Xavier Jr. Even though they keep saying Raze is Mystique and Wolverine’s son, I’m putting bets on him being X23 and Mystique (as a guy)’s son.  She was missing for a while and is a clone of Wolverine after all.


 Avengers

Captain America confronts Tony about the Illuminati’s plan to destroy an alternate universe (the alternative being doing nothing and both universes destroying each other by default), but Cap doesn’t accept that as an option.  He gets the rest of the Avengers to help him beat up Tony, but they’re interrupted by the Time Gem flinging them progressively more and more into the future against their will.  Goddammit time travel. Maybe I just need to find different seri to read.

KMJul2014--avengers


 Batman

Batman is nearing the end of Zero Year, the “before he starts being Batman proper and after”. He’s tackled Red Hood, Dr. Death, and he’s soon to beat on The Riddler. Gotham is currently not unlike The Dark Knight Rises in being a shitty post-apocalyptic city to live in.

KMJul2014-batman

Click here for Batman Eternal if that’s what you are into…


 Cyclops

Cyclops joins his dad’s space pirate group, The Starjammers. Cyclops’ hot alien stepmom teaches him how to shoot his one eye into the depths of deep space.  He also gets a sweet sword.KMJul2014-Cyclops


 Future’s End (DC)

I think I got three issues into this before the care steam ran out.  The parts about the future versions of characters I know is fun, but when it gets to the people I don’t know . . . It’s enough of a labour learning about a character that’s new to me in the present without adding in between and future history.


 Guardians of the Galaxy

The Guardians of the Galaxy crossed over with All New X-Men for the Trial of Jean Grey, super fun.  Now they have guest star Flash Thompson (Venom) as rookie space adventurer sidekick.  Oh, and everyone but him has been captured.


 Hawkeye

I only started reading Hawkeye from the last three issues and I feel bad for anyone who’s been keeping up since the start. The first I read ended with Clint and his brother getting shot and left for dead. The second was a girl he knows, who’s solving a probably related mystery. The third is a very special episode about Steve, the dog with no powers, go read it regardless, no joke. Couple that with the super irregular release schedule and I can see fans having a bad time. 

Seriously, pick up #17 now.


 Hulk

Bruce Banner got super precise shot in the back of the brain as part of a nefarious plan to plant a control device in Hulk.  That plan went as well as you would imagine and now Bruce is occasionally . . . did you read Of Mice and Men?  Guess which one he most resembles now.  Oh, and Hulk was using Cap’s shield against the Abomination, boner.KMJuly2014-Hulk


 Iron Man

The Mandarins’ rings have been flying around finding new individual owners like horny Green Lantern rings.  There was even a short page or two that could have been an awesome Saturday Morning premise where people disgruntled with Tony were getting sweet ring revenge on him, like a former director of an Iron Man musical.  So much potential!  Recently Tony traveled to dark elf land to get most of the rings away from Chris Eccleston, The Dark Elf, and demolished his ass wearing a for real iron suit.KMJul2014-ironman


 Justice League United

Being Canadian, you can rightly assume that I’ll either love or hate this series, let me relay some facts.  Issue #1 is part 2/5, that’s not a typo.  Issue #0 was apparently 1/5, and I’m too salty to read it right now.  What I got so far is some characters fighting together before they form a team, still no sign of Leader Lex,  being annoyed at each other, badly, and traveling to another planet (I love off world stories so much!).  I’m really trying to read it, but it hurts.  As of issue #2, they’re too late to stop a perfect baby made out of all the DNA in the universe.  All that and Lobo looks like he came out of a Japanese RPG.  I want gruff manly Lobo, not bishonen Lobo. Also, Animal Man has some weird Fabio hair going on.KMJul2014-lobo


 Original Sin

Original Sin is a mystery about The Watcher being murdered and his eyes being stolen, wrapped in 8 issues (4 out now).  It has The Punisher teamed up with Doctor Strange, which is cool.  It’s all still . . . whatever, so don’t jump on the train just yet.KMJul2014-Original Sin


 Magneto

I read somewhere that the Magneto series is like if you gave Frank Castle powers.  No arguments here.  He’s a pro-mutant terrorist, and tears down the oppressive man wherever he messes with mutants.


 Thunderbolts

New arc is Punisher vs Thunderbolts, so that prospect is pretty exciting.  The issue was good enough that I forgot about what I came to read it for in the first place, and naturally the whole versus thing really only shoots the starting pistol at the end, but it’s a good start so far.


 Wolverine and The X-Men

Wolverine and The X-Men is using my three least favourite plot elements at the same time in the current 5 part arc: The Phoenix, Apocalypse (Jr, but still), and Time Travel. Thank god it’s not taking place off world.  May god have mercy on this series.KMJul2014-Wolverine and the X-Men


That’s all for this quarter, tune in around October for more, assuming I remember by then.

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Shane

Rookie comic reader, occasional "reviewer". When he's not reading comics he's playing Xbox and building igloos. Follow him on Twitter @Toonie_Fox