This week in Batman Eternal, barely much happens!
Table of Contents
Paraphrase of The Week
Some people probably wonder why I do this. Why bother reading this series if I know it’ll be bad? Reading and reviewing this book makes me feel like Deacon Blackfire, chaining up Batman and sucker punching him every week. That’s the good I get from this. Also, I’m contractually obligated to ANTiFANBOY to finish the fight.
I really wish Frank and Deshawn were still doing the Real Books Don’t Have Batman Podcast so I could hear how someone could possibly be enjoying this. Go back and read my last article, here’s the link. Have you read it? It’s almost the same thing. The highlight differences being that Jim beats on The Penguin, and Julia got the batkids’ systems unfucked. Oh, and where did Julia go to save the day? Robins nest. That really paid off finally. As far as the battles the batkids are going through, not much has changed. They started by dodging around in one issue, spent the next issue being downgraded and failing, and now they’re back to normal. So we’re pretty much where we started two issues ago. Oh, and Batman shows up at the last page. Let’s put a bet on whether or not the next issue will be him helping them all out one at a time, because apparently they’re super inept by themselves in this series. Except Harper, who has a legitimate reason, she’s new.
- Mecha-Bane about to punch the plane Batman stole. It’s very reminiscent of the first issue of Batman Eternal where Batman in a robo-suit karate chops a plane in half, which was one of the moments that made this series of articles materialize in the form it exists as. I’m betting ANTiFANbucks that Batman’s not in the plane, just sayin’
- Alfred beats down Hush. I could make a complaint that he waited a long fucking time to override his prison, but I’ve got bigger problems to bitch about
- All that ranting more or less covers it
- I’m not sure how I feel about Jim Gordon almost verbatim quoting Rorschaching it up in this page. It would have been fantastic otherwise
Paraphrase of The Week
Cluemaster: We’ve captured you again Stephanie, you should totally join us, we’d be like, super smart together, and be a family team.
Stephanie: Well, first of all, no. Second of all, you didn’t tie my hands together, so Imma crash your copter.
- Batkids are . . . doing the same thing as before . . .
- And maybe Batman will help them . . . soon . . .
- Jason Bard is coming to rescue Jim Gordon from prison
- Jim Gordon is a prison BEAST
- Hush has been incapacitated